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(ICW logo fades up and out.)
(Text fades in: "'Enough is enough, and it's time for a change.' -Owen Hart." The quote then begins to twitch and scramble into static.)
(Static hisses and crackles for a second into an intro featuring wrestlers over bass-heavy hard rock with no lyrics...we come up on a hot crowd as the camera makes quick zooms across the crowd and people wave and cheer.)
(No announcers are heard, the set is new, but not as extravagant as Explosion or Aggression's new looks.)
(The rock intro fades out, and the crowd buzzes...until a strange, but somehow familiar music blares across the arena. THE OKLAHOMA STATE FIGHT SONG!!)
(Jim Ross walks to the ring, wearing his trademark black cowboy hat, a red button-down shirt, and black pants. The crowd goes NUTS upon seeing him, as JR has been scarce since the demise of WWE! He climbs into the ring, and the crowd gives him a standing ovation, breaking into a "JR!" chant. He smiles politely, nods to the fans, then brings the mic up to his lips.)
JR: I can't begin to tell you how much that ovation means to me. Thank you very much for that. I didn't expect such a warm welcome, truthfully, but...I'll be you didn't expect you'd see me tonight, either!
(Pop!)
JR: Well, let me tell ya', folks, there's a helluva' lot more coming up tonight you won't expect, I guarantee it! I'll tell you now...I wouldn't miss it for the world. That's why I will be here every week...as your television commentator! That's right...but there's another gentleman you'll be seeing a lot of around here, and in fact, it is my distinct pleasure and honor to welcome him to the ring right now. Ladies and gentleman, Mr. Tony Sadowski!
(ARENA-SHAKING POP!!)
(ICON THEME hits, and Tony comes to the ring in a white suit with a black shirt and blue tie. He's also wearing a big grin, and he enters the ring and assumes the mic from JR.)
02: Mr. Ross, I thank you for that warm welcome. It means a lot coming from you, and it's now MY honor to invite you to take your rightful place at the announce desk and enjoy the rest of the show with THIS AMAZING AUDIENCE!!
(Cheap pop. JR shakes hands with 02 and waves to the crowd as he takes his spot at an announce table up near the entrance-way.)
02: Man, this set looks a little bland. No logos on the ring. That's a nice, big screen up there...but there's not much on it, is there? I think it's time to get this party started! LADIES AND GENTLEMEN THIS IS ICW...CHAOS!!!
(SUPERPOP as the theme plays again, this time with lyrics heavily featuring the word "chaos," and an ICW-C LOGO POPS UP EVERYWHERE, with an electric green tint to everything and green fireworks blast around the arena!!)
02: Did you really think that greatest mastermind in the history of wrestling, the greatest ICON in the wrestling world today was just sitting around at home on his ass all day?!! Did you really think the BIG SHOT was just gonna' ROLL OVER AND DIE?!! DID YOU REALLY THINK I GAVE UP, THAT I LET THE OTHER GUYS WIN?!
(Fans are popping from the intensity!!)
02: NO GODDAM WAY!!
(POP!!!)
02: Icon 02, yours truly, was busy scheming! Plotting! Planning my GLORIOUS RETURN! AND NOW I'M HERE, AND NOW CHAOS HAS HIT ICW, AND THERE'S NOT A DAMN THING ADAM OR ED CAN DO ABOUT IT!! There's something to be said for living with the CEO of ICW, you know, there really is! Because while everyone thought I was giving up wrestling to become Mr. Mom, raising the little Junior Icons at home while momma and the Uncle Icons had all the fun...I was pull the wool over EVERYONE'S EYES! Ed thinks he's the only one who can read a damn contract? No, no. He didn't read it closely enough. And I quote, "ICW: Not So Hot is designed to showcase the lesser-used and up-and-coming talent of ICW. It can be used thusly, and as a farm for future wrestlers for the major ICW brands...UNTIL WHICH TIME as an able caretaker takes TOTAL CONTROL OF THE SHOW, MAKING IT THE OFFICIAL...THIRD ICW BRAND!!
(POP!)
02: That's right, I'm on the block again, boys. The Big Shot's back in town, and he has a new baby. Chaos, you may think, is nothing but a collection of useless talent, the guys and girls the "big leagues" didn't want. No way. Chaos is a collection of talent that didn't fit the "style" of the other brands. Chaos is home to the outcasts, the misfits, the talent who are capable of so much more than ICW has given them a chance to prove...UNTIL NOW! ALLOW ME TO INTRODUCE YOU TO A FEW PEOPLE! SOME YOU KNOW WELL, AS FANS OF NOT SO HOT AND THOSE...OTHER ICW SHOWS. THE REST...HA HA!! YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT'S IN STORE FOR YOU NOW THAT THERE'S A GUIDING FORCE BEHIND THIS CHAOS, BABY!! First, joining Jim Ross at the announce table, please welcome........................................................ERIC BISCHOFF!!
JR: WHAT?! Did he just say what I THINK he said?!
(Bischoff walks out to the hate of the crowd in his usual superheel way, blowing kisses, smiling, waving...and he joins JR.)
JR: Oh, God, no! Bad enough I had to deal with you back in WWE, now I have to WORK WITH YOU HERE?!
EB: JR, I've MISSED YOU TOO! It's GREAT TO SEE YOU AGAIN, BUDDY!!
(Bischoff gives an unwilling JR a hug, stands up, smiles for the crowd again, then takes his seat.)
JR: Don't you touch me, you --
EB: Easy, easy, now Jim! Let's play nice, here. I'm a changed man, I'm just here to do my job and call the matches like I see 'em!
JR: Well...I don't trust you as far as I could throw you, but...the fact remains, you'll definitely be an...interesting broadcast partner.
EB: I understand you being a little intimidated, JR, seeing as how I'm the greatest ringside commentator the wrestling world has even seen, but that's the spirit! That's why we all love good ol' JR...that old Texas fighting spirit!
JR: I'm from Oklahoma.
EB: Wherever. The important thing is that I'M here!
(Tony has been laughing in the ring.)
02: Okay, now that you've gotten all the booing out of your system...allow me to next introduce the WRESTLERS OF ICW CHAOS!
Chuck Palumbo, Albert, Nunzio, Jamie Noble, Sean Morely, X-Pac, Goldust, Justin Credible, Yoshihiro Tajiri, Funaki, Rodney Mack, D-Lo Brown, Hardcore Holly, Crash Holly, and the lovely ladies Dawn Marie and Sable!
(POP!!!)
JR: I'll tell you, 02 must've been working hard, because I NEVER thought I'd see so many great performers on this show!
02: Oh, you like that? How about I introduce a good friend of mine, someone who was a BIG help to me in getting this whole operation up and running, and who has a few MORE surprise additions to the roster for you? Please welcome...SHANE MCMAHON!
(HERE COMES THE MONEYYYY...)
(Shane-o Mac walks down to the ring to a good pop, looking in good spirits, as always.)
SM: Thank you, Tony. ICW Chaos is going to be an amazing product, and will MORE than give Explosion and Aggression a run for their money...especially when I introduce you to some signees you'll NEVER IN YOUR WILDEST DREAMS IMAGINE YOU'D SEE ON ICW TELEVISION!! First...A MAMMOTH of a man. From ECW, a FULL-BLOODED ITALIAN IF I'VE EVEN SEEN ONE, AND YOU NEVER HAVE TO ASK "WHERE'S MY PIZZA?" WHEN HE'S AROUND, BECAUSE YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO IT...Big Sal!!
(POP!! The big man waddles out, a 600-pound behemoth the crowd LOVES!)
SM: Ha ha. Think that's something? How about a former member of ECW's Triple Threat, an accomplished wrestler who's overcome a TON of personal obstacles in his life...AND HE GETS TO SLEEP WITH SUNNY ANYTIME HE WANTS...CHRIS CANDIDO!!
SM: From the arid deserts of Bombay, Michigan...a man who has few peers in the ring...a homicidal, suicidal, genocidal maniac -- SABU!!
(SUPERPOP!! Sabu comes out, pointing to the ceiling, generally looking like the insane guy the wrestling world remembers for INSANE spots back in ECW.)
SM: A great that got lost in the shuffle back in the old WWF...he left for a while, and now he's BACK TO THE WRESTLING WORLD, ULTIMATE FIGHTER...KEN SHAMROCK!!
(Shamrock comes out in his FULL, DRAGON-COVERED ROBE, punching himself in the head and "snapping" for the crowd, who eats it up.)
SM: And FINALLY...A HARDCORE LEGEND. Rivaled only by his greatest foe, Mick Foley, and still kickin' somehow after all these years and more beatings than anyone and count...TERRY FUNK!!
(Crowd loves it as the Funker comes out, and a few wrestlers back out of his way as he holds up a flaming branding-iron!!)
02: So, just answer by screaming at the top of your lungs, loud enough that you wake Ed and Adam up because they're usually tucked in all snug in their beds by 10 on a Saturday night...WHAT DO YOU THINK OF ICW CHAOS?!!
(A HUGE POP RATTLES THE BUILDING, and the Icon theme hits as Tony and Shane revel in their creation and we head to commercial.)
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First-EVER ICW-C Match!
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Nunzio (w/Big Sal) v. Jaime Noble
-Nunzio rides Sal's shoulders to the ring to a nice pop. Noble heads to the ring and he and Nunzio lock up to start the match. It's a great match with solid spots and pleny of high-impact, high-speed moves. The fans love it, and a "Where's my pizza?" chant angers Nunzio so much that he goes to yell at the fans and Noble takes control. He pounds on Nunzio for a while, then hits a running powerbomb on the Italian Stallion for the pin. Sal enters the ring as Noble is celebrating, and Noble turns around in the shadow of the monster, in fear. He turns to run, but is grabbed by Sal and sent the the mat with a punch. Sal bounces off the ropes and SMASHES Noble with his immense gut, eliciting an "OOH!!" from the crowd and leaving Noble out of it. Sal picks up Nunzio, tosses him over his shoulder, and carries out his little buddy. Good match, ending didn't really do much but put over Sal as a monster, but Noble did get the win, and both men got pops for good spots, so it works out.
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(Shane and Tony are in an office.)
SM: You pulled it off, man. Gotta' hand it to you, on as little budget as you have, you're really off to a great start.
02: Well, what money I DO have went to the wrestlers' pay, so...I'm working on next to nothing and our set is obviously not up to par with the others, but...we'll work our way up. I knew it'd be a challenge, and that's why I wanted to do it. If this business had made me an underdog...fine. I'll take that challenge.
SM: Hey, well I'm heading out, looks like you have things under control. Good luck, Big Shot!
02: Thanks, Shane, I'll need a lot.
(Shane leaves, as Tajiri enters, w/ Funaki.)
(Tajiri is speaking in Japanese at a billion miles an hour, and 02 just stares at him, confused. Funaki nods along, knowingly.)
02: Hold on, Tajiri. Wait. Funaki, you used to be number one Smackdown announcer, right?
F: Yessah! Numbah wan Smackdown announsah!
02: What the hell is Yoshihiro so upset about?
F: Tajiri says he want to be ICW Chaos...SUPREEMA Champee-yan!
02: Okay. And why are you here?
F: Funaki now...Tajiri numbah wan official spokesman!!
02: You're MANAGING now?!!
F: Funaki has many, many skill, Big-eh Shot-ah!
02: I suppose you do, Mr. Funaki. Well, if your main man Tajiri wants a title shot, tell him he's got it. He's one of my favorite wrestlers of all-time, and he'll get his chance to at the Supreme Title.
(Funaki tells the good news to a happy, excited Tajiri!)
02: Next week, it'll be Yoshihiro Tajiri versus the winner of tonight's main event. He'll be facing either...KEN SHAMROCK...or...SABU!
(POP!!)
(Funaki explains it to Tajiri, who waves off the competitors, then goes off in Japanese again while making "belt" signs around his waist! They leave, jabbering.)
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Light Heavyweight Title Match
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Crash d. X-Pac
-Surprisingly high-impact match. Both men put on a good, solid show. Bob Holly runs in and screws over Pac, which gets a pop from the fans. They laugh at the angry Pac as they walk up the ramp, Crash holding his title high!
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Rodney Mack d. Justin Credible
-Decent match, Mack still a bit green, but Credible's natural heeliciousness makes up for it, drawing the crowd behind the face. They back the Mack, and he takes the win.
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D-Lo d. Candido
-D-Lo is beloved, Candido is also cheered, but has kind of a vague gimmick. No plot yes, I guess. Anyway, they both put on a solid match. D-Lo takes it with the Lo-Down, head-shaking and all. They're really into him, guess it's been a while since the ICW audience has seen him.
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SUPREME TITLE SHOT MATCH
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Ken Shamrock d. Sabu
-At the end of this war, with neither man giving up a 3-count or submission, Ken has the upper hand. He locks in the Ankle Lock on Sabu, and as Sabu struggles to reach the ropes but is dragged back to the center of the ring, it looks like Shamrock will be facing Tajiri next week! However...the lights dim, and a spotlight begins to travel around the arena. A strange, eerie music is playing...and the spotlight shines at the rafters, to reveal STING, in his Crow-gimmick, trenchcoat, baseball bat and all, BEING LOWERED INTO THE RING!! The crowd explodes, and Sting hits the mat, takes out Shamrock with the black bat, then he lets out a "WOOOO!" to the fans, who respond happily, as the ring clears and Stinger whips Shamrock out through the ropes. Sting takes a mic.
S: HELLO ICW!!
(POP!!)
S: You know, for the past two months now, I've been contacted repeatedly by Adam on Explosion and Ed on Aggression. (Mockingly.) "Oh, Sting! Won't you come join my federation? Oh, Sting! I love you, please, be on my show!" PATHETIC! Those guys have enough talent over there...and I'm not about to get lost in the shuffle like a lot of the guys on Chaos. No, Sting's BACK, and he's calling his own shots now!
(POP!!)
S: No one tells Sting what to do. Not Eric Bischoff, not Vince Russo, not Adam, not Ed, NOT EVEN TONY CAN TELL STING WHAT TO DO!! The only voice is listen to is my own...AND MY MANIACS OUT THERE IN THE STANDS!!! ARE YOU WITH ME?!
(SUPERPOP!!!)
S: If you want to see Sting kick some ass on Chaos, let me hear it!
(POP!!!)
S: If you want to help the Stinger take on the world, and show these ICW rejects WHAT IT MEANS TO BE A SUPERSTAR, LET ME HEAR IT!!
(POP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
S: And if you want to see the Stinger face Tajiri next week to become the ICW Chaos SUPREME CHAMPION, MAKE SOME NOISE!!
(POP!!!!!)
(ICON THEME!! 02 comes out, angrily, stands on the stage with a mic.)
02: Dammit, Sting! I don't care who you are or how much these fans love you...you can't just bust in here and ruin my matches like that! Sabu technically won that match by DQ...so he WILL get the title shot against Tajiri next week!
(Mixed reaction.)
S: I think these people want to see Sting holding that shiny new belt, Icon. And there isn't a guy in this damn building who can beat me!
(POP!!)
02: Fine, then. Tell you what, Stinger. You'll get your shot at the Supreme Title...IN 4 WEEKS AT ICW-C: Insanity. And you know, there are no PPV specials on Chaos...no, every 4 weeks, you get a FREE PPV-CALIBER SHOW RIGHT HERE ON THIS STATION ON SUNDAY NIGHT!
(POP!)
S: Insanity, huh? At the end of the month, you say? Well, there's just one problem. See, I know Sting, I talk to the guy a lot...and STING DOESN'T WANT TO WAIT THAT LONG TO KICK SOME ASS!!!
(POP!!!!! The fans love Sting SOOOO f'n much!)
02: Fine. You know, I try to keep all of my wrestlers happy, give everyone some air-time, and most of all...keep the fans coming back for more, never knowing what'll happen next! So Sting, next week...you'll get a match, too...against THE MOST POPULAR MAN IN WRESTLING HISTORY, KNOWN TO SOME AS THE HULK, AS HOLLYWOOD, AND MOST RECENTLY MR. AMERICA...TERRY BOLEA!!!
(VOODOO CHILD HITS AND A GIMMICK-FREE HOGAN WALKS OUT, WEARING BLACK JEANS, A WHITE BANDANA READING "TERRYou IN HALF!" AND A WHITE, SLEEVELESS T-SHIRT! HE STANDS, SMILING AT STING, WAVING HIS FINGER AT HIM.)
TB: You know somethin', DUUUUDE...
(POP!!)
TB: You got some NERVE comin' on to TERRY'S show and acting like you're the BIG DOG, BROTHER! THERE'S ONLY ONE SUPERSTAR ON THIS SHOW, AND IT'S ME, TERRY BOLEA!!
(BIG face pop for a heelish Hogan!)
TB: I change the face of wrestling everywhere I go, man! And Chaos isn't going to be any different! My good friend, 02, and I have been planning Chaos for quite a while, dude. Ever since I came over to Revolution, and worked with Ed and Adam to get him canned from his Chairman job, he and I were hatching this little plan behind their backs, dude, planning to show ICW NOT TO MESS WITH THE BEST!
(Pop!!)
EB: JR, Sting's not doing anything. He's SCARED OUT OF HIS MIND! HA HA HA!
S: Tony, Terry...I ACCEPT THAT MATCH!! NEXT WEEK, BOLEA, YOUR ASS IS MINE...and STING AND HIS MANIACS WILL MAKE YOU WISH YOU NEVER STEPPED INSIDE A WRESTLING RING!!
(HUGE POP AS BOLEA RUNS TO THE RING, THE LIGHTS GO OUT. WHEN THEY COME UP, STING IS GONE AND BOLEA AND TONY ARE LOOKING AROUND FOR HIM, STUNNED!)
EB: He's gone! WHERE DID HE GO?!! GET BACK IN THERE AND FIGHT, YOU COWARD!!
JR: MY GOD WHAT A NIGHT! STING IS BACK, AND HE FIGHTS TERRY BOLEA NEXT WEEK!
EB: You wouldn't want to miss Sting getting his ASS HANDED TO HIM, HA HA HA!!
JR: Oh, shut up Eric!
EB: Seriously, JR, you really have to work out these anger issues!
(Show fades out.)
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