(ICW logo...static...)
(...static...crackles into Vince in office with Tony.)
02: I have to hand it to you, Vince...tonight's going to completely change the face of ICW forever! With your backing and my Iconic ideas...Chaos is easily the federation to watch now.
VM: Well...not EXACTLY.
02: Why do you say that?
VM: You see, Tony...we're lacking something I admit I focused a bit too much on back at the end of the WWE. See, the beauty of our partnership is that the two greatest masterminds in wrestling history are together now, and anything's possible. We have a new and improved set, more staff...the thing Chaos really needs is STAR POWER. We need more big, exclusive stars. You did a great job with Sting, even I couldn't get him...but we need more. Big draws, not just guys the fans used to love but who aren't current anymore. We can rebuild guys like Shamrock, guys like Candido...you're doing that now. But if we're going to truly rule the wrestling world...then we'll need so spend a little of that billion dollars I bring to the table!
02: Okay, I think I hear you...we need some big guns. Guys who people are DYING to see.
VM: Exactly, Tony, and precisely why I have taken the liberty of hiring a new ICW Chaos Superstar, as kind of a housewarming gift to the fans now that they're in the NEW era of Chaos, what it was truly meant to be...
02: Ha ha...that's very nice of you, Vince. I'm sure they'll love what you've done...and I have to admit, I'm curious myself.
VM: Ha ha ha ha...then you won't have to wait much longer. Because, as you said 2 weeks ago...tonight...we STEAL THE SPOTLIGHT in ICW!
(...static...CHAOS intro and hard-ass rockin' theme! RAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGGH!!)
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(Come up on extremely hot, live crowd! There is an expensive-looking new set, and a green and purple fireworks display goes off for a long time before ending with a HUGE green and purple flame explosion on the stage/entranceway! It's amazing, the biggest intro an ICW show has ever had! There is a new super-huge Iconotron, green, metallic colors for everything, and the ring has green ropes and a new apron with the ICW: Chaos logo! The announce desk, where Jim Ross and Eric Bischoff sit, about to start the show, is also metallic and awesome-looking...more a Star Trek-looking control area than an announce desk, with monitors and logos and...dude, it's awesome. Chaos is rich, and it shows!)
JR: Welcome to the Chaos! This is the way the show was meant to be, what Icon 02 had envisioned for it, all realized with help from my former boss...and...well, my boss again, Vincent Kennedy McMahon!
EB: Well, I never thought I'd work for Vince a second time, but...this place really looks incredible, and do we have a show for you! This, besides being the debut of the new style of Chaos, is also the 4th episode...what that means is there'd normally be a Chaos PPV even tomorrow night, but in this federation, there IS no PPV, it's all free! And tonight has been named ICW: Insanity!
JR: A bold idea by Icon 02, holding free PPV-caliber shows on the regular station, but that's what Chaos is all about, shaking the foundation and reinventing the wheel, as it were.
EB: I don't know, JR, I'm a little worried having those two in charge. I mean, they've obviously clashed in the past big-time, and if they're both trying to change the face of wrestling...Chaos might just go too far!
JR: True, you don't need ANOTHER failed company on your resume.
EB: It's so cliche to dredge up WCW, Ross. Come on.
JR: Fine, fine. Big baby...anyway, folks, here's a look at tonight's card! If you're looking for some amazing wrestling action, look no further that Insanity!
(Fancy full-screen graphics with moving wrestlers and each match, JR/EB narrate.)
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(VOODOO CHILD! Terry Bolea is out to a BIG pop from the fans, a true legend in the game, on his way to the ring, sporting black jeans and a black, sleeveless T-shirt that reads, "HOGAN WHO?" He's soaking up the love, and soon stands in the center of the ring with a mic.)
TB: You know somethin'...Terry Bolea is the man who made wrestling what it is today.
(POP!)
TB: But he didn't do it alone. He had the help of all you fans...and an old friend named HULK HOGAN!!
(SUPERPOP!)
TB: This shirt I have on right here, this is because the each and every one of the Icons wants a piece of Terry Bolea, brother, this is because even after all these years, I'm STILL the biggest and most well-known name in wrestling, no matter WHAT you call me! And a lot of people have been asking me, they say, Terry, why don't you just use your old Hulk Hogan music? Terry, why aren't you Mr. America anymore? Well, you know somethin' dudes, starting tonight, thanks to Vince McMahon...I can call myself whoever I want, brother, because HULK HOGAN AND MR. AMERICA...THE CHARACTERS THAT HE ORIGINALLY CREATED, ARE EXCLUSIVE TO HIS AND TONY'S SHOW, CHAOS, JUST WHERE THEY BELONG!!
(POP!)
JR: MY GOD, ERIC! THIS IS HUGE! THIS MUST BE WHAT VINCE WAS TALKING ABOUT!
EB: Hulk Hogan is exclusive to Chaos now?! This is VERY BIG, JR, perhaps the biggest coup this federation has pulled yet!
JR: I wonder what the other Icons think about that?!
EB: I doubt even TONY knew about this one, JR! It sounds like Vince and Hogan worked this out themselves!
TB: So, I'm going to ask you right now. We're gonna' do a little ICW poll, right here, brother! You fans get to choose right now, who do you want to see, let me hear it by screaming and running WILD as loud as you can! Do you want to see Mr. America on Chaos?
(Good pop.)
TB: Hm...okay. Not bad. Well, how about the man himself, the man in the ring before you right now, TERRY BOLEA?
(A little lower.)
TB: Okay. Finally, and I know you're not gonna' want this one, so why am I even bothering...but how many of you would like to see, right here on Chaos, every week...THE IMMORTAL ONE, HULK HOGAN, BROTHER?!!
(Mind-blistering POP!!!!!!111)
TB: THEN HIT MY MUSIC!!
(REAL AMERICAN HITS, AND THE PLACE GOES NUTS AS BOLEA RIPS OFF HIS BLACK SHIRT TO REVEAL A "HULKAMANIA" RED AND YELLOW SHIRT BENEATH!! HE HULKS UP IN THE RING, THEN HEADS TO THE BACK TO A HUGE POP! HULK HOGAN IS BACK, RED AND YELLOW IS BACK, AND IT'S EXCLUSIVE TO CHAOS! WHAT A HUGE REVELATION TO START THE NIGHT!!!)
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(At the announce table, which is awesome, as Hogan's theme plays for a while as the Immortal One leaves.)
JR: Hulkamania, alive again! HULKAMANIA IS RUNNIN' WILD ON CHAOS!!!
EB: I still can't believe it! What a big strategic move by Choas! Vince McMahon has been here one week, and already Chaos is growing like crazy! It's almost like I was in charge!
JR: Oh, YEAH RIGHT!
(Maven's theme hits!)
EB: See? Even JR agrees! Well, up next...the first of a long line of title matches for tonight's free PPV event...an aggressive young man who had a little trouble getting anywhere in the WWE, and he's been stuck on ICW: Not So Hot for years...well now he's here and he's stealing a little spotlight of his own, JR!
JR: Indeed he is, Eric, because Maven has wormed his way into this title match, to put it nicely, and as you mentioned, his new aggressive streak has really gotten him a lot of heat with the boys backstage as well as the fans.
EB: Well, like him or not, Maven has shown us all that he's HERE, and he's not going anywhere!
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Light Heavyweight Championship Match:
Crash Holly (c) v. Maven
-Crash is out next, to a decent pop. Maven is a heel, being booed the whole time. Holly is pissed at Maven for being such a bastard lately and proceeds to wipe the floor with him for a while...until Maven comes back with a big power move, sending Holly crashing to the mat. The momentum stays in Maven's favor, and try as Holly might to fight back, Maven stays on top of him, then hits a big superplex on Crash, using the ropes for leverage while the ref counts the 1, 2, 3! Your winner...and NEEEEEEEEEW Light Heavyweight Champion...MAAAAAAAAVEN! Maven stomps Holly a bit before leaving, then taunts the booing crowd as he leaves to his theme.
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TV Championship Match:
Infinity (w/Sable) (c) v. Ken Shamrock (w/Dawn Marie)
-Infinity is a popular mofo, and Sable isn't hurting his standing with the fans as he walks to the ring with the belt over one shoulder and Sable on his other arm. In the ring, Sable takes the belt and stands next to Infinity as he does a fast, martial-arts sequence ending with a HUGE fireworks explosion above the ring! Crowd loves it!
Our challenger, Ken Shamrock, comes out next, escorted by the lovely Dawn Marie, who immediately locks eyes with Sable and shares an icy glare. He is cheered, too, being awesome and all.
A great, hard-hitting match with lots of action sees Infinity hitting Shamrock with everything he's got for a good 25 minutes! Shamrock dishes back here and there, using his reversal, escape and counter-attack psychology to keep Infinity OFF his toes as much as possible!
In the end, Infinity is knocked down by a FAST belly-to-belly suplex by Shamrock. A pinfall attempt ends in a 2-count, and Ken is pissed-off. He SNAPS, pounding his head and screaming, and goes after Infinity's foot for the Ankle Lock!! Infinity, however, manages to power Shamrock off of his ankle with a few thrusts of his powerful legs, and escapes certain defeat once again!
Shamrock gets right back up, only to be met by a series of clotheslines from Infinity, who NAILS Shamrock with an Infinity Punch at the end, sending Ken flying back a few feet from the impact! Shamrock is down and out cold!
Infinity goes for the pin, but the ref is distracted! Outside, Sable and Dawn Marie are arguing loudly, and it degenerates into a wild catfight that ends in both women in their skimpy undergarments, rolling around on the concrete! The crowd goes nuts, and during this whole mess, Candido runs down into the ring, hits a running drop kick to Infinity's head, and then scoops the TV champ up for a DDT! He rolls Shamrock on top of Infinity, and high-tails it out of the ring and around to break up the women!
Candido points for the ref to turn around, and he does, seeing the pinfall and counting the 1, 2, 3! A half-conscious Ken Shamrock's arm is raised in victory as Candido and Sable help him up after shoving Infinity outside to an angry Sable. Shamrock is the NEEEEW TV champion, and the Punishers celebrate in the ring, Shamrock slowly shaking out the cobwebs after the Infinity Punch earlier. They are booed for their heelish methods, and leaving happy anyway. Outside the ring, a half-nude Sable and an angry Infinity swear revenge on those cheating Punishers!
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(FBI theme! Big Sal waddles out, carrying Nunzio on his shoulders and laughing with Chuck Palumbo, who jokingly tries to put the Hardcore belt around Sal's waist...of course it won't fit, so Palumbo puts it on himself and Sal points at him, menacingly...then they both laugh and keep walking. A mild pop for them, even after their heelish antics last week won Sal the HC Title and got them booed at the end of Chaos!)
(Sal takes a mic! Ha!)
S: You know...I had 'dis title for a week now, and I been wonderin'...who on Chaos has da' BALLS to take on a 600 pound monster like Big Sal? Buncha' p*ssies, I guess.
(Crowd buzzes...can't you just tell something's up?)
S: My good friend and client, Tony Sadowski, told me and the boys to take da' night off...but how could we miss 'dis big night? But if I'm here...I wanna' kick somebody's ass, so I ain't...no...WE ain't leavin' 'dis ring until someone comes out here and takes it like a man! Anybody, c'mon!
("NO CHANCE! THAT'S WHAT YOU GOT..." Vince McMahon comes out to a big pop! He stops at the top of the ramp with a mic.)
VM: So, Big Sal...you want a match, do you? And it can be anyone, you say?
(Sal nods, in the ring.)
VM: Well, that's just great! Because I was going to take this time to introduce the man I brought in all the way from Aggression, the man who screwed over Ed Moorhouse and came to Chaos to be with a winning team, with great leaders like myself and Tony Sadowski!
(POP!!!!!!!)
JR: I thought Hogan was the surprise! He's got someone else?!
EB: Be careful, Adam and Ed...he might just buy YOU, too!
VM: And this is the perfect opportunity, because as luck would have it...my new signee would ALSO like a match tonight, so why not a HARDCORE CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH? LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, PLEASE WELCOME YOUR CHALLENGER...
(FAMILIAR THEME HITS, CROWD EXPLODES AS THE MAN WALKS OUT ON STAGE WITH VINCE...)
VM: BROCK...LESNAR!!!
(SUPER-DOOPER POP!!!!!!111)
Hardcore Championship Match:
Big Sal (c) v. Brock Lesnar(!!)
(Brock does his little jog thing on the stage, then smiles devilishly at the FBI as his stalks his way to the ring. It's like watching Big Sal standing on train tracks while a speeding Amtrak heads his way! He hops in the ring, still smiling big, crowd still cheering him, his theme still blaring!)
Sal is backing up, then hits the ropes! He looks at Nunzio and Palumbo, obviously worried, and they are in total fear! They look at Sal, then eachother, and RUN OUT OF THE RING AND UP THE RAMP!! Sal is left alone, wearing his nice black slacks and a white dress shirt with the top button undone. Sal turns to leave, but Brock has been stalking his prey...he pulls Sal back inside, HOISTS THE 600 POUND MONSTER ABOVE HIS HEAD...AND NAILS A MAMMOTH F-5 ON BIG SAL!!! The place explodes, Sal's the heaviest guy EVER, and Brock hops back up like nothing happened!
He senses how beloved he is, and plays to the crowd, sitting on the gut of the KO-ed Sal for a quick 1, 2, 3! His arm is raised, his music hits again, and Brock takes the Hardcore Title, puts it around his waist, and celebrates by being all intense and hardcore on the turnbuckle!
The crowd showers Lesnar with much love, and Sal can do nothing. He's O-W-T OWT! BROCK IS HERE! AND HE HAS A TITLE ALREADY!! THIS WAS VINCE'S SURPRISE, AND IT WAS AMAZING!!!111 However...this night isn't over yet!
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(In the back, Vince and Tony are celebrating in the office!)
02: McMahon, that was INCREDIBLE! I mean, I wish you'd have chosen someone who WASN'T my bodyguard, but even so...Brock is an animal!
VM: AND...he's the star-power this show needed! With Brock and the exclusive rights to Hulk Hogan...nothing can hold Chaos back, now!! Ha ha ha!!
02: Vince, this is the start of a great partnership. Ed and Adam are probably REELING right now...but I have a little surprise of my own for you tonight!
VM: (Intrigued, eyebrows raise.) Oh?
02: We have Hulk Hogan...we have Hardcore Champion, Brock Lesnar...but you know, I think we're missing something. (Pretends to think.) Hmm...you know, I know just the thing! Vince, I'm adding a match tonight, myself! Up next, ANOTHER friend of mine, Heavyweight Champion Sean Morely (POP!!) takes on...well, you'll just have to find out...next!
JR: We'll be right back, this is our first and ONLY commercial break of the night, folks, and you won't wanna' miss what Tony has for us in this Heavyweight Championship Match, up next!
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(Commercials. One of which is for...oh, my god...I do not believe this...ICW...the videogame!! It's just a tease for now...mostly text and shots of wrestlers staring into the camera and being intense...ends with "ICW: TOTAL WARFARE...COMING TO ALL SYSTEMS 12-10-03!" Another is for ICW's sponsor, Mountain Dew! Do the Dew!)
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Heavyweight Championship Match:
Sean Morely (c) v. ???
-Morely is pumped, in the ring, fans cheering, dogs barking, things flying around the room...it's inhuman! Anyway...he waits, leaning against the ropes, staring at the entranceway...the crowd buzzes as Morely's theme fades out.
(LIGHTS OUT IN THE ARENA. Pop because the lights went out...you KNOW people do it...)
(On the blank Iconotron...a familiar-looking device pops up. The crowd pops HUGE, biggest of the night...when it starts at :03...then proceeds to :02...and finally...:01. Blue lazers take us through a tunnel, at the end, a shadowy figure is walking. The music kicks up..."BREAK THE WALLS DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWN!!!!!")
CHRIS JERICHO!!!!!111 steps out onstage wearing his ICW: Explosion Legend Title, standing backwards, arms out, then turns around after a blast of blue sparklers fills the stage and fireworks explode around the Iconotron! The place is going nuts, as Y2J himself turns around, pumped as ever, and smiles as he walks to the ring! Morely is stunned!
Y2J enters the ring. Morely shrugs it off, and as Jericho is removing his pink, sparkly coat, the Heavyweight Champion lays into the challenger with all he's got!
Morely really destroys Jericho early on, until Y2J rolls and avoids Morely's Money Shot a few minutes into the match. Jericho begins a comeback, and the two trade momentum, having what turns into a great, long match! Surprise, surprise.
Both men are popular faces, but Jericho gets a bigger reaction, just having shown up and all.
Late in the match, Jericho hits a Lionsault, and Morely kicks out. Jericho gets up and tries it again, to a big pop...but MORELY GETS HIS KNEES UP! Jericho has the wind knocked out of him, and Morely capitalizes, hitting Y2J with a few stomps and a BIG elbow drop from the top turnbuckle the smacks across the chest of Y2J! 1, 2...2 and a half! Jericho just gets out of it, and the fans erupt! The Highlight of the Night locks in the Walls of Jericho, and Morely, after being pulled back from the ropes...taps!
Your winner...and NEEEEEEEEEEEEEW Heavyweight Champion...Y2J...CHRIS JERICHO!!
(MEGAPOP!!!!1)
Jericho is handed the Heavyweight Title, as well as his Legend Title! He asks for a mic as Morely rolls around in the ring, then limps his way to the back, looking pissy.
Y2J: Welcome to...SATURDAY NIGHT JERICHO!! I may not be John Belush, I may not be Will Farrell...but I AM one BAD MAMMA-JAMMA...
(POP!!)
Y2J: ...and I AM the Living Legend, the Highlight of the Night, the Ayatolla of Rock and Rolla...
(POP!!!!!11)
Y2J: AND...your CHAOS HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION!!
(More love.)
Y2J: But you know...(holds up Legend Title)...I have this here Legend Title, fitting of a Living Legend, such as myself, the man you all tune in to see...but you know...I think I know a even MORE fitting place for this Explosion Legend Title than around the waist of yours truly...
(Jericho hops outside, looks under the ring, and finds a trash can! He tosses it in the ring, then climbs back in.)
Y2J: It belongs...in HERE!
(HUGE POP as Jericho drops the Legend Title in the can and kicks the trash can to the ropes! He takes the mic again.)
Y2J: ADAM LASKOWSKI...let me make one thing perfectly clear, JUNIOR!!
(Pop at Jericho's dishonoring Adam.)
Y2J: I STILL hate your damn GUTS! You DARE you try to appease Y2J with this meaningless "Legend" title, named after a man who USED to be a halfway decent human being, now he's just the BIGGEST ASSCLOWN I'VE EVER LAID EYES ON!
(POP!)
Y2J: I hate the Legend, and I don't need this title, I deserve more, and you know it! ALL OF THESE PEOPLE KNOW IT!
(POP!)
Y2J: AND, LUCKILY...ICON 02, THE GREAT TONY SADOWSKI, THE MASTERMIND OF ICW...KNOWS IT TOO! HE KNEW IT ALL ALONG! WHY DO YOU THINK TONY WAS AT EXPLOSION LAST WEEK? HUH? WHY WOULDN'T I GO WITH THE MAN WHO MADE ME THE ONLY GRAND SLAM CHAMPION IN ICW HISTORY?! Y2J IS HERE TO STAY, JACK! AND IF YOU WANT TO HEAR MORE...TUNE IN TO THE CHRIS JERICHO SHOW...next SATURDAY ON CHAOS!!!11
(Jericho leaves the ring to a monster pop, most love of the night, and somewhere, if you listen very closely in the night air...you can hear the sounds of Adam Laskowski and Ed Moorhouse crapping themselves.)
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Backstage, a Tony/Morely confrontation! Morely, one of the first defectors to Chaos from Explosion, one of Tony's biggest supporters, feels he was screwed! He wasn't ready for that match! It was a set-up! Tony denies it. He thought Morely would be more than up to the challenge, and he was RIGHT...he didn't win, but he gave the fans one of the best wrestling matches in recent memory! So to make it up to Sean, Tony says Morely gets a rematch against Y2J next week on Chaos...and it'll be a LADDER MATCH! Morely is all better, the world is right again...Tony is a master at keeping these hotheads happy...and he made a main event for next week at the same time!
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Supreme Championship Match:
Yoshihiro Tajiri (w/Funaki) (c) v. Sting
-Tajiri and Sting put on a quality match. Each knows his way around a ring, and the fans are totally behind both of them!
Big spots traded. Tajiri hits his flipping elbow off the ropes to the face of Sting, Sting hits a Stinger Splash in the corner, celebrates with a WOOOOOO! The crowd responds happily.
Tajiri goes for a kick to Sting's head, Sting catches his foot and Tajiri follows up with an Enzugiri! Sting is down, and Tajiri controls the match for the next few minutes.
It continues awesomely, Tajiri eventually feeling the "sting" of the Scorpion Death Lock! Taj is about to tap, but Funaki grabs his buddy's hands and helps pull him to the ropes to break the hold!
Tajiri, lying on his back, spits the GREEN MIST to Sting's face as Stinger tries to lock in another SDL...allowing the Champ to take over again! Tajiri, Chaos Supreme Champion, hits his big spinning kick to the back of Sting's head as the challenger tries to wipe his eyes! Sting is down, holding his head, Taj goes for the pin -- 1, 2 -- Sting has managed to get his foot on the ropes, but Funaki shoves it off the rope before the ref notices -- 3!! Tajiri retains, there's a good pop for him, and he and Funaki celebrate their dastardly deeds by holding up the belt in the ring and heading up the ramp. They slap hands on the way, they're still loved.
Sting, in the ring, green-faced and scowling, grabs a mic.
S: You know, Tajiri, you're a talented wrestler. You're one of the best in the game, and I know you're the FASTEST guy I've ever worked with. But you shouldn't need guys to pull stunts like that for you at this stage in your career! So if you're a man at all, you'll give me a fair rematch for that Supreme Title next Saturday night...in a STEEL CAGE!
(Tajiri and Funaki are rambling on in Japanese on the ramp. Tajiri points for Funaki to go into the ring. Funaki runs into the ring, then grabs the mic from Sting.)
F: Tajiri say-ah...YES! STEE-RAH CAGE-AG MATCH! NEX' WEEK!!!
S: Well, you know...if you talk for Tajiri...I have a message you can take back to HIM for me...
(Sting kicks Funaki's ass to a big pop, and grabs his rope to be pulled to the rafters as Tajiri hits the ring, angry! Rematch next week, steel cage! Sting is loved, crowd is cheering, JR and Bischoff sign off! Insanity fades out.)
