LIVE FROM THE BOB CARPENTER CENTER IN WILMINGTON, DE!
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(Hurricane is in the parking lot, talking to Randy Orton.)
H: It's about time you headed over to Revolution, man. Let me tell you, this is the place to be.
RO: Helms, it's great to be here! Man, for a while, I thought I was going to conquer Vengeance...then Ed started jobbing me out every week. Screw that.
H: Yeah, well, just remember. On Revolution, it's all about alliances. It's all about having people to watch your back. Ever since WWE, we've been friends. You watch my back...and I'll watch yours.
RO: Buddy, you've got a deal.
(They shake and smile. Hurricane begins to walk away.)
RO: Oh, one last thing.
(Orton runs up behind Hurricane, suplexes him hard on the concrete floor!)
RO: Who's gonna' watch your back when I'M the one sneaking up behind you?
(Orton starts laughing as he turns around to walk away from the motionless Hurricane...and Big Show runs in and spears him to hell!)
Show: (Getting up.) Welcome to Revolution, Orton!
(Show walks away chuckling.)
(REVOLUTION THEME!)
Mark: WHAT AN OPENING!
King: Tell me about it! I can hardly keep track of who hates who!
Mark: Well, it's all too apparent to Randy Orton's spine that he's the first of three former Vengeance superstars to debut on Revolution tonight!
King: Man, that Hurricane's a sucker! Ha ha!
Mark: Yeah, class act, Randy Orton. But, he's a helluva' worker and we'll be seeing more of him as soon as he can get up.
King: Knowing him, he's probably hurt already.
Mark: Very funny. Also tonight, we'll see the Revolution debut of Rob Van Dam and the Big Red Machine himself...Kane!
King: Does it feel warmer than usual to you?
Mark: Well, they'll definitely be heating things up. Tonight's Revolution is brought to you by "Shane McMahon's Big Book of Barbecue!" See how Shane likes his picnic food, as he poses for faked pictures with ICW superstars.
King: I miss JR...
(ONE OF A KIND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
Mark: Forget JR. It's all about RVD! Rob Van Dam is here, King!
King: Big deal. We'll be lucky if he's EVER HALF the man Triple H was...
Mark: Are you serious? Van Dam's a tremendous athlete! And he was supposed to be taking on the Hurricane in tonight's opening match...but I don't know if Hurricane's going to be able to make it after what Randy Orton did to him!
RVD: Hey. I'm Rob...Van...Dam. You know, I'm not much for...talking...but I do kick ass like nobody else. So I'd like to introduce you to my new friend...he'll be doing the talking tonight.
(WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! Ric Flair theme hits!)
Mark: WOAH! What a combination!
King: Somebody call the EMT's...Ric's trying to walk down the ramp again!
Mark: He's a living legend, King! And he's been back in fighting shape on Revolution as of late! Plus, he took out the Immortal Hulk Hogan in the Legends match at Total Warfare!
King: Mark, YOU could beat Hulk Hogan these days if you wanted.
Mark: Oh, come on...
(Flair grabs the mic.)
RF: WOOOO!
(Crowd pops huge! Flair is over big.)
RF: Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, the show is about to begin! The Nature Boy Ric Flair is now in the corner of Rob Van Dam...and we won't just be on the show. We'll be the WHOLE F*CKIN' SHOW! WOOOOOO!!
(Flair cursed! SUPERPOP!)
King: Wow, he's semi-coherent tonight.
Mark: You're terrible.
RF: But you know...watching what happened to the Hurricane in the back right there...he said something that really is true. It's all about alliances. It's all about friends watching eachother's backs...so let me introduce you to the third member of our group...RANDY ORTON!
(Orton comes out shaking off the big spear, to a mild pop. He joins the others in the ring, and shakes hands with RVD.)
RF: You might be thinking...this looks like a real Triple Threat!
(BENOITS MUSIC HITS! Crowd boos the heel for ruining the party.)
Benoit: Flair...there's only one Triple Threat. It's me, Credible, and Lynn.
(Boo!)
Benoit: ...or it was up until tonight, when I quit that group of losers! Because ladies and gentlemen...what you're witnessing tonight...is the REBIRTH...OF THE FOUR HORSEMEN!!!
(Thunderous pop!)
King: WOAH!
Mark: Oh, my God! This can't be happening!
(Benoit joins Flair, Orton, and RVD in the ring, they celebrate. A brand new theme hits, and the foursome walks out to its own music and video! The crowd pops like crazy!)
Mark: Never in my LIFE did I think I'd see the Four Horsemen again!
King: You'd think they'd stop after the last few groups stank so much!
Mark: King, you may not be too far off on that one...but I think this group looks like one of the best ever!
King: They're a bunch of weaklings, Mark! They all have to hide behind eachother's backs! Fight like a man!
Mark: Well, they taught a lesson to poor Hurricane earlier, you almost have to have someone you can trust watching your back around here anymore...
King: That's just the way it is when you're part of ICW. The greatest wrestlers in the world are here, and you have to claw your way to the top!
Mark: Well, Orton and Van Dam may be new, but...looks like they'll have no problem making it to the top...the Four Horsemen are back! And WE'LL be right back after this!
(Commercial.)
Mark: Welcome back to Revolution, and what a night it's already been! During the break, we checked in on the condition of the Hurricane, he's resting in the back and is luckily going to be fine...but he took a hard shot on the concrete by a man he thought he could trust, Randy Orton.
(Replay of beginning of show.)
Mark: Revolution already feels different, King.
King: You get a new chair? I did. Feels a lot different.
(ICON THEME! OUT WALK TONY AND ED. Pop.)
01: Wow. Big Shot, the Four Horsemen on Revolution? With Rob Van Dam AND Randy Orton? That's amazing, I'm jealous, brother.
02: Hey, I talked to our Icon business associate Ric and made them an offer they couldn't refuse. But even I was surprised by Benoit...I mean, putting two headliners with the greatest of all time, Ric Flair, that's a Triple Threat. But I had no idea Flair was wheelin' and dealin' to bring back the Four FREAKIN' Horsemen!
(POP!!)
02: I do take offense, however, to Orton attacking one of my favorite superstars to start off the night. ESPECIALLY when the Hurricane was supposed to fight RVD to open the show in the guy's debut match! I guess...we'll just have to make that match for next week...and make it a LADDER MATCH!
(Pop!)
02: You like that idea?
(Crowd cheers.)
02: How about this one, then? Let's make it for the No. 1 Contendership for the Cruiserweight Championship, winner gets a match against Tajiri at our next PPV?!!
(HUGE POP!)
01: Brother, that'll be INCREDIBLE! But one question.
02: What's that?
01: Why am I out here?
02: Ah, well you brought me out here to surprise me on my own show last week by telling me I was losing three of my biggest stars. But Revolution keeps on going, and I think it's safe to say we're even stronger now. So I have a surprise of my own for YOU.
01: (Suspicious.) Um...am I going...to like this surprise?
02: Big Daddy...your shady behavior last week made Revolution even better. So I brought you out here to offer you a thank you gift.
01: Oh, awesome! I hope there's boobies in this gift.
02: There might be. Because you have a choice. Either you can special guest referee in our Bra & Panties Match coming up as soon as you make your decision...
(POP!)
02: ...or...you can ref the main event tonight...the Revolution Heavyweight Champion, Tazz, versus...Chris Jericho!
01: Hmm...ref the main event...in which two talented, sweaty guys will attempt to climb on top of eachother for a gold waistband...or call a Bra & Panties Match for the gorgeous ladies of Revolution? Decisions, decisions...
02: What'll it be, my friend?
01: Well, brother, I think it's obvious...BRING ON THE PUPPIES!!
(POP!!!)
02: In that case, allow me to introduce the competitors in tonight's Bra & Panties Match...ladies and gentlemen, please welcome our special guests for the evening...
(Strange, old-fashioned rock blares over the arena...)
02: ...the FABULOUS MOOLAH AND MAYE YOUNG!!
King: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
Mark: Oh, no...this is terrible! Ed Moorhouse is suffering for dropping the Year-End Exchange clause on Tony last week!
King: He's suffering? WE'RE ALL SUFFERING!!
(Moolah and Maye get in the ring and begin to dance around and feel-up 01. Ed cringes, looks sick...and - the camera picks it up from behind - he passes out when they both pull their bikini tops up, revealing four hideous, ancient boobies to poor Big Daddy. The crowd laughs and eats the bit up.)
02: I think it's officially a tie! Congratulations ladies, and thanks for stopping by! Ed...next time you have a big surprise for me...just remember...I can call them up anytime!
(Mark and King go nuts, and we go to commercial.)
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Mark: We're back...I think.
King: I don't know either, my eyes don't quite work still.
Mark: Moolah and Maye Young flashed Ed Moorhouse, and he had to be carried to the back after passing out!
King: My poor ol' heart wouldn't have been able to stand those wrinkled old hound dogs up close and personal!
Mark: I don't know many who could've, and we wish Ed a speedy recovery!
(ORGAN MUSIC BLASTS, THE LIGHTS TURN RED, AND IN A FLOOD OF FIRE...KANE APPEARS ON THE RAMP!! The crowd pops huge for the Machine.)
Kane: (In his dark, gravely, MASKed voice...) Revolution. Kane...is HERE!
(POP!!)
Kane: I took 02's offer for one reason...UNDERTAKER!
(THE ARENA GOES DARK AS A GONG SOUNDS LOUDLY...TAKER HEADS OUT TO A HUGE ROAR FROM THE CROWD AND TURNS THE LIGHTS BY SLOWLY RAISING HIS ARMS. GOLDUST FOLLOWS WITH THE URN, BUT DOESN'T ENTER THE RING...WHERE THE UNDERTAKER STANDS TOE TO TOE WITH HIS YOUNGER BROTHER.)
Kane: Mark...
(Taker whips his hair back and out of his face. Pop!)
Kane: You know why I'm here.
(Taker looks at Goldust, who is terrified and confused.)
Kane: I want...the urn.
(Taker turns away, Kane grabs his shoulder and yanks him back to his stare.)
Kane: MARK. I NEED THE URN...since I started on Vengeance...I haven't been able to do anything. I'm weak. I need the Dark Power. DON'T make me call...him. Just do this the easy way...
(Taker looks shocked, eyes wide. Kane nods, smiles devilishly.)
Kane: Give up your Dark Power to me...and take your old motorcycle and head home, Deadman.
Mark: This is surreal. Kane is asking the Undertaker to hand over whatever "Power" is in that urn!
(Taker begins to walk away.)
Kane: Brother...I don't want to hurt you. Don't make me hurt you...
(Taker turns slowly to the crowd, who cheer him...and he turns and CHOKESLAMS KANE!! The crowd pops huge!)
(Taker's theme hits and he begins to slowly leave the ring, when Kane SITS UP!)
Kane: You leave me no choice.
(Kane's theme hits again, and Paul Bearer waddles down the ramp and into the ring! Taker is shocked to see him, then glances at Kane who is nodding slowly at him.)
PB: SUR-PRIIIIISE, SUR-PRIIIIIIIISE, SUR-PRIIIIIIIISE!
(Pop..?)
PB: I'll bet you never thought you'd see me again, did you "Deadman?" And you know it...youuuuu knooooowww why I'm heeeeeere! Only I know the TRUE SECRET OF THE DARK POWER! I CONTROL THE URN, DEADMAN! And as long as I'm around...that power...will belong to YOUR BROTHER, KANE!!
(Crowd begins to realize Kane is a monster-heel on Revolution and boos.)
PB: (Looks outside the ring at Goldust.) Youuuu!!! Bring that urn to me right now!!
(Taker shakes his head "no" to Goldust, but Goldust turns and, hypnotically, climbs inside the ring and delivers the urn to Paul Bearer. Bearer cackles horridly, and the Undertaker collapses.)
PB: Enjoy being just another pathetic, aging wrestler, Mark! Do us all a favor and just retire already!
(Kane's theme hits, and Kane, Paul, and Goldust leave to boos.)
(Taker slowly gets to his feet and shakes the cobwebs out when they make it up the ramp...and slowly walks to the back.)
Mark: I don't understand, King. Why didn't the Undertaker do anything? What Power does this urn really have?
King: I never really bought into this urn business...but...just maybe the Undertaker COULDN'T do anything! Maybe Paul Bearer really DOES control whatever the Dark Power is?
Mark: Well all I know is the Undertaker looked depressed going up that ramp...it just wasn't the same man!
(Commercial.)
(In the back, the Undertaker is sitting on the floor in the hallway, head in hands. A shadow falls on Taker as another man walks up, out of view.)
??: Undertaker. Paul Bearer is right. Without the Dark Power...you're back to the same loser you were before you returned to the Dark Side a few months ago...but with my help...maybe you can get back to your old winning ways...
Taker: Man, forget it. You don't understand. People thought is was just some act, but there's real power behind that urn. Without it, I'm nothing. So's anyone else in Kane's path. Besides...why do you care?
(Camera pulls back to reveal Tommy Dreamer.)
TD: Because I know what it's like to be told your time has passed. I owned the ECW...and here in ICW...I've gotten next to nothing. The fans love me, I bust my ass out there...and I'm stuck doing the JOB to f*ckin' Victoria in lame-ass Time-Limit Hardcore Matches on God damn PAY PER VIEW TELEVISION! And you...you WERE the WWF for over 10 years. Now you're being jobbed to Mankind on Pay Per View and forced to chase after some "Power" in a freakin' urn. Taker...us old-school guys are being phased-out. If we team up...I think we can show everyone we deserve a helluva' lot more respect then we get.
(Taker stands up...slowly looks up at Dreamer...then extends his hand for an unholy shake. The crowd pops.)
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Matches:
-RVD v. Hurricane (postponed)
-Trish (c) d. Jazz (Bra & Panties Match, Lawler judge)
-Credible v. Lynn (they had a falling-out backstage after Benoit ditched them)
-Tazz d. Y2J (Tazz wins by DQ when Jericho refuses to break the Walls of Jericho and Tazz is holding the bottom rope...Tazz never taps, but is in the hold and obviously in serious pain for over 5 minutes. Jericho takes a chair to the champ's legs before he walks out smiling and proud to a chorus of boos as Tazz cusses him out from the ring.)
